The Infamous Man's Box of Writing Fun
by The Infamous Man
Summary: Simply random ideas within this author's mind that will not likely become full-fledged stories. However if one particular idea gets enough support, it might become an actual story. Note that Naruto will not be the only series used in this. Bleach and several other series will be used as well.
1. Team IchiWTF!

**_I Do Not Own Bleach, DC Comics, Fate/Zero, Or Fullmetal Alchemist. _**

Urahara Kisuke bit his lip in nervousness, as he looked at the hole he dropped his 'student', Kurosaki Ichigo, inside of alongside his 'fairly-paid workers' Jinta and Ururu. The plan was originally fairly simple. Cut Ichigo's Chain of Fate, drop the kid down a huge hole, have Tessai bind him with Kido, and wait for seventy-two hours to see if Ichigo became a Shinigami once more or a Hollow, in which case he would be forced to destroy him.

So far, the latter was the outcome that was most likely to happen.

_"Damn it Ichigo, hurry up and unlock your Zanpaku…!" _Kisuke thought to himself before he, Jinta, and Ururu were thrown back by a blast of gold. Wind knocked up rocks and dust everywhere, it even knocked off Kisuke's hat. _"T-that Reitsu! It was not a Hollow and it was definitely not a Shinnigami's!"_

"W-what the fuck is this?" Jinta yelled out while staring wide-eyed at the pillar of gold rising out of the 'Shattered Staff'. Ururu would have mumbled some sort of chiding remark to Jinta for his language, if she had not been shaking like a leaf in fear as to what had just happened. Suddenly, a large object flew out of the hole and landed right in front of Kisuke's feet. Kisuke blinked in surprise as he saw the 'object' was really Tessai who was fairly beaten, bloody, and had two finely decorated knives in non-fatal spots in his back.

Kisuke slowly looked up to the figure who was the cause of Tessai's injuries before his jaw fell in shock. Jinta's knees were knocking in fear while Ururu hid behind him like a human shield. The figure then asked one thing with a scoff.

"Are you truly going to stand there gawking like a fool, mongrel?"

And only one thing could go through Kisuke's mind in response.

_"Well… this is totally not according to plan."_

**_Several Days Later (August Eight):_**

Ishida Uryu pushed his glasses up his nose as he walked beside his two companions towards Urahara's Store. For the past few weeks, he had been training himself to become more powerful. Powerful enough to face off the Shinigami that had beaten him so easily when they came to capture Rukia. And it seemed that Orihime and Sado had done the same.

Now what training method they _had_ done was a mystery, and it had apparently changed them drastically.

Sado's hair had been combed up and the front lock had a fairly noticeable curl, rather than his previously disheveled hair. His eyes burned with some sort of energy and excitement that Ishida had never seen before in the gentle giant. Sado wore a buttoned up white shirt, black dress pants, and black shoes. However on his hands he wore two spiked gauntlets that had intricate designs on them. Mostly a circle with a triangle in the middle and several other markings. Inoue wore simply jeans, a tight red shirt, and sneakers. However on her wrists she wore two pure silver gauntlets that did not seem to have any way of coming off.

Not to mention how they carried themselves now was bizarre.

"I do hope we can rescue Kuchiki-san soon! To leave to certain death, in order to protect Ichigo from anymore pain of their onslaught is truly one of the most heroic sacrifices this world has ever seen!" Chad shouted while 'passionate' tears fell from his face. Uryu thought he saw some sparkles float around Chad as he cried. But quickly dismissed it. That was simply impossible, not to mention a waste of Reitsu.

"Indeed. She is truly worthy of being one of my sisters. Perhaps I shall bring her back to Themyscira to meet our fellow sisters once this is done." Orihime spoke with pride in her tone, confusing Uryu.

"I thought you did not have any more siblings Inoue-san." Uryu spoke, making Orihime glance at him and give a polite smile.

"They are my sisters in all but blood Ishida-kun." Orihime said simply before turning her attention back to the rode while Chad wiped his tears.

_"This is strange. Perhaps their training had some stress on their minds?"_ Uryu thought to himself before they reached the entrance of Urahara's shop, only to hear the sound of glass breaking.

"FOOL! Do you honestly expect me to drink this pig's swill?" Ichigo's loud voice shouted, making Uryu rush within the shop and see a very, _very _bizarre sight.

Ichigo was dressed in very well crafted golden armor with some blue designs on them and red cloth traveling down from the waist, stopping at the ankles. Ichigo's eyes were red and his face was transformed into a scowl, however this scowl had a hint of arrogance in it. On his ears were two rectangular, golden earrings that seemed to shine in the light along with the armor. He has sitting on top of a fancy chair with both of his arms on the armrest, however his right hand was up and his cheek rested on its fist. Behind him were Jinta and Ururu swaying fans at Ichigo to keep him cool, however their faces had fearful expressions on them. Beside Ichigo was Tessai, who was cleaning up a broken glass and spilt wine on the floor. Kisuke was in front of Ichigo, _bowing_ of all things!

_"W-what the Hell happened to Kurosaki?"_ Uryu thought in shock before Ichigo glanced at him.

"Ah Ishida, you have finally arrived. You were supposed to arrive ten minutes ago! How dare you keep you king waiting?" Ichigo asked with anger in his tone, making Ishida snap out of his daze.

"Now listen here Kurosa-!" Uryu began, only for Kisuke to appear in front of him and cover his mouth with his right hand.

"Please forgive his words your highness! He was not expecting your divine return to our world and thus, his mind reacted with awe and fear!" Kisuke began with a shaking laugh, only for Ichigo to slam his left fist onto the armrest.

"ENOUGH! I will not do with anymore excuses Urahara! However surprising my reincarnation is to this world may be, it was no excuse for his behavior!" Ichigo then eyed Uryu for a moment before his face became calm once more. "However, I will spare him for his tone. After all, he will be my soldier for the coming war."

Kisuke nodded enthusiastically before saying, "Your generosity is too kind your majesty!" He then turned his face to Uryu and whispered one thing, "Keep your mouth shut and you will be fine."

It was at that moment that Orihime and Chad walked into the room, making Ichigo's scowl turn into a slight smile. "Ah, it is good that you two are here. Now we can depart and do battle with those glorified thieves." Ichigo then eyed Orihime's gauntlets and raised an eyebrow. "And this truly is a surprise. I cannot remember the last time I had royalty from Themyscira in my presence."

"And it is good to see you as well Kurosaki-kun." Orihime replied with a smile while Ichigo continued to look at her from head to toe.

"We shall be going into battle soon. Perhaps you should change into more comfortable wear?" Ichigo asked making Orihime brighten up.

"Sure!" Orihime shouted before twirling around and having her clothes disappear in a flash of light, only for something new to take its place. Black pants with a completely silver v-shaped belt, black boots that almost went to her knees with the pointed opening having an outline of silver, and a _very_ tight red shirt with two silver w's that revealed a great deal of skin on the top. And on top of her head was a silver tiara with a red star in the center.

At this point, Uryu had a nosebleed.

Ichigo nodded and hummed to himself in approval before saying quietly, "Perhaps she is worthy of becoming my queen…"

"Ah yes! Let us go Ichigo! Together we shall rescue Kuchiki-san from the clutches of those devious Shinigami!" Chad shouted before flexing his muscles, making his shirt literally _tear_ apart showing said muscles. Sparkles then circled around Chad along with, strangely, roses before disappearing.

**_"WHAT THE FUCK!"_** Uryu thought to himself in shock and horror as Chad continued to pose and flex his muscles while Orihime beamed at Ichigo.

"I will only ask this once Sado. _Do not_ do that in my presence ever again." Ichigo then raised himself from his chair before glancing at Kisuke. "Now, show us to your contraption Urahara."

"Of coarse your majesty!" Kisuke said a little _too_ happily before leading the four down to the training area, where a stone square was waiting, the center already showing a type of portal. There, the black cat Yoruichi was waiting.

"Its about time Kisuke. I was beginning to get bored." Yoruichi spoke before turning her attention to the group. "Wow, overcompensating for something Ichigo-chan?"

"Watch your tongue cat, before I cut it off." Ichigo spoke, making Yoruichi's eyes widen in shock before Ichigo raised his right hand lazily. Behind him, a massive golden portal appeared shocking everyone but Chad and Orihime. Out of it came a massive, floating, and _golden_ ship with green fin-like 'wings' behind it. On top of the ship was a single seat, however it was fancy enough to equal an actual throne. Ichigo then jumped on top of the ship before sitting on the 'throne' with his head rested on his fist once again in a bored manner before signaling the others to get on. Orihime and Chad jumped on the ship with no problem and sat on the 'deck' while Uryu and Yoruichi stared at the thing with shock and awe.

"K-kisuke, w-what…?" Yoruichi began before Kisuke picked her up and threw her on the ship while Tessai did the same with Uryu.

"Goodbye your majesty! I wish you a safe journey while you are on your righteous and holy mission!" Kisuke said cheerfully before the ship lurched forward in an insane speed and disappeared into the Senkaimon. The secret training area was quiet for a minute before Kisuke let out a sigh of relief. "Whew! Glad that's over with!"

"I-is he gone?" Jinta asked with Ururu behind him as they came out of their hiding spot.

"Yes, yes he is… for now." Kisuke replied with a smile before Jinta and Ururu burst into tears and hugged one-another.

"Kisuke." Tessai spoke up, abandoning his usual formal greetings while looking at Kisuke. "Why was it that we had to serve Kurosaki-san to such a degree? Surely with our combined strength, we could have restrained him enough to…"

"Your just angry because he did not like your food or the best wine we could afford." Kisuke said dismissively before taking out his hand-fan. "Besides, I believe that serving the awakened reincarnation of Gilgamesh is much better for both of our health rather than fighting him."

"But are they ready to face the captains?" Tessai asked again, only for Urahara to nod his head.

"Oh yes, with their power they will save Kuchiki-chan without a problem." Kisuke replied before looking down. "Although I worry…"

"Worry of what?" Tessai asked while looking at his friend and boss.

"I worry that they will destroy the Soul Society in the process." Kisuke said before shaking his head. "Oh well, those guys deserve the excitement."

Hey, you cant blame a guy like Kisuke for holding a grudge, no matter how small.

**Note-**** Yo! It's The Infamous Man with a new idea-filled series! Much like Kyugan, my head is filled with bat-shit insane ideas that I would never be able to make into full-fledged series. So, I will just dump them here for you to enjoy! Now this particular one-shot is based on the 'Overpowered Team Seven' story parody idea. However instead of Team Seven being overpowered, it is Team Ichigo! Now just to clear things up Ichigo has the powers and personality of Gilgamesh from Fate/stay night, Orihime has Wonder Woman from DC comics, and Chad has the one and only Alex Louis Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist! Please, tell me what you think of this little tid-bit of what is to come in a review! **

**Please Review! **


	2. Casshern Evolution

**I do not own Casshern Sins or X-Men Evolution.**

Charles Xavier laid in his bed, dreaming about the world he always envisioned as a perfect one. Mutants and humans co-existed peacefully with one another, crime of any kind did not exist, wars never occurred, and he sat with his good friend (But in real life former friend turned enemy) Eric Leshnerr playing chess.

Oh, and his legs worked in the dream. A nice touch from his subconscious mind.

Charles truly hoped the world would eventually become like this, complete and utter peace. However, Charles was not blind to true reality. Conflict would always exist in some way, shape, or form. All he can do is offer humanity as a whole another path. And perhaps steer them into the right direction by having his students, the X-Men, show that mutants and humans could co-exist and not be at each other's throats despite what Eric says.

_"But will I be alive to see that day?" _Charles thought to himself before frowning at his own dark thoughts. He had been thinking thoughts like these in an increasing rate, ever since he had returned from Mystique's clutches. And a man of his intelligence knew that thinking like this very often was not truly healthy. Of coarse he knew the possibility of dying for his dream was there, but even he knew that he could trust his students to continue onwards without him. So there should be no reason he should be dwelling on such a bleak topic…

Suddenly a loud piercing noise reached Charles' ears, making him shout n anger and cover his ears. However, the sound just kept coming. Which meant this was a telepathic attack. Jean would most likely feel it as well, and perhaps the other students if the attacker was targeting them as well. As soon as the noise came, it stopped. And Charles opened his eyes only to see himself not in bed, but in a wide expansive room whose floor was mostly a huge pond, and there was a single walkway.

**_Vision:_**

"What is this?"_ Charles asked himself before looking down and realized that he was floating off of the ground. This offered two possibilities, he was either brought to someone's mind-scape, or to a memory. _

_Charles then looked up to see a young girl, barely twelve appearance-wise. She was dressed in a simple white sundress and had a strange red-colored headgear on top of her grey hair. Her strange, pupil-less and light purple-colored eyes looked at him curiously before asking, "Who are you?" _

_Charles smiled, so this was a fellow mutant telepath that had recently discovered her power and by stroke of luck connected with him. Strange, but now was not the time to dwell on such things. "I am Charles…" _

_"I am Casshern." A new voice spoke in almost robotic calmness. Charles turned to see a young man dressed in a completely white costume, a blood red and stylized 'C' on his chest, two gun-like devices on his waist, and most of his head covered in a mask with the sole exception being his actual face. On the forehead was a golden v-shaped headpiece and his eyes radiated supreme calmness when he stated his task. "Luna. I will kill you." _

**_End Vision:_**

Charles gasped in shock before panting, sweat dripping down his face as he tried to calm himself. _"That was a memory, not a mind-scape. But who were those two? Why did that young man want to kill that girl?"_

_"Hey, Chuck, you awake?"_Logan's thoughts reached Charles's mind within an instant. Oh, the gifts that telepathy brings to him.

_"Yes Logan, what is it?"_ Charles asked back to Logan, who 'growled' in his own mind.

_"Because Chuck…"_

**_Somewhere In The Mountains:_**

"…We've got a huge ass problem." Logan muttered to himself as he surveyed the ruined landscape. There was a huge-ass hole in the middle, going several feet down into the landscape. Around it were ruined pick-up trucks, discarded guns, and bodies everywhere. Crushed heads, torn-off limbs, and holes directly through the chest were the common fatal injuries for each of the seven bodies. All seven bodies were young men, their ages around seventeen or twenty-five. All of them were not dressed in any type of army gear, which meant that they were most likely some punks who wanted to eventually raid the institute.

Logan took a sniff of the air and growled at the scent he got. It was a _way_ too perfect mix of blood and metal. It was almost if said blood and metal were part of the same being…

_"G-guys! *Krsh* Someone, for the love of God pick up!"_ A young, scared voice yelled out from a radio on the floor. Logan glanced at it before walking over and picking up the device. _"The mutie is tearing us apart! Call for the cops! The national guard! SOMEBODY! *Krscht* O-oh god he just tore up Billy! Fuck this shit! I'm out of…!"_ The kid didn't even have time to finish as the sound of bone being crushed went through the airwaves.

_"Huh. Looks like those retards pissed off the wrong person."_ Logan thought to himself before dropping the device and sniffing the air once more. Once he picked up the strange and unfamiliar sent before speeding off in the direction it lead to. _"Only Creed or that retard Wade could kill these guys like this. But then I would recognize their scents, and Wade would have been running his fucking mouth the whole time. It's someone new. But who?" _

**_Elsewhere:_**

"Shoot you idiots! Shoot!" A man yelled before firing his automatic rifle at the whit blur that was closing in on him and his comrades. Suddenly, the ground shook and an imprint of a footprint was left on the ground. The next moment, the man's head went sailing off of his shoulders, and a masked figure crouched down onto the ground several feet away. The masked figure wasa young man dressed in a completely white costume, a blood red and stylized 'C' on his chest, two gun-like devices on his waist, and most of his head covered in a mask with his mouth and nose covered by a white metal-like mask piece. On the forehead was a golden v-shaped headpiece, which, along with the mouthpiece, gave the figure an ominous appearance.

The figure then stood back up, the mouthpiece retracting to reveal the figure's young and handsome face before he surveyed the carnage around him. His dark blue eyes beginning to fill with sadness and regret.

"D-die mutie!" A teenager armed with a shotgun shouted before coming out of his hiding place and aiming it at the figure. The figure's mouthpiece then slid back on before his eyes glowed white. He then disappeared before appearing next to the teenager and kicking him, completely separating the body into two by the torso. A pick up truck then sped toward the figure, the driver and the gunman in the back shaking fearfully. The figure then jumped upwards and summersaulted gracefully, before performing an axe-kick right in the front of the truck, making the entire thing explode in a ball of fire. As he walked away from the wreckage, a man then rushed forward with a bowie knife in hand. Fully intending on stabbing the figure. However, the figure punched forward, completely going through the man's chest before pulling back and letting go of the bloody flesh he had grabbed. As the man fell, a boy no older than sixteen with black hair began to crawl forward.

"D-damn mutant." The boy muttered as he coughed up blood. "W-why couldn't a freak like you just die and leave us humans alone?"

The mouthpiece then retracted, and the figure asked, "Why? How does me dying serve you?"

The boy then gave a weak chuckle before saying, "You know the answer to that already you freak. I-if we don't kill you, you will gather some of those freak friends of yours to kill us."

The figure bristled at this before saying back, "Kill you? Ridiculous, I have no reason to find and kill any of you. I just wished to be alone. It was you who attacked me first."

"I-I can't be sure of that. You freaks are unnatural! And I am not just going to sit around waiting for you abominations to take the first shot!" The boy yelled before raising a handgun, tears streaming down his cheeks. "DIE!"

Before he could even fire, the figure launched forward. And in a shout of anger, he punched right through the boy's head, and kept punching at the body. Each blow liquidizing it victim's bones.

As soon as the figure was done, he looked at his blood-drenched hands with an amount of quickly growing horror before asking out loud, "What Am I?" Suddenly, a vision flashed through his mind, showing a beautiful young girl asking him the same response, and the answer he provided was… "I am… Casshern?"

"Strange name bub." A voice told the newly dubbed Casshern, making him look at the source. He saw a relatively short man with messed-up black hair, cold black eyes, and three long silver claws coming out of his hands. "But then again, never knew Sentinels got names."

"Y-you know what I am?" Casshern asked, only for the man to grin savagely at him.

"Sure as Hell don't." Logan replied before launching himself at Casshern. "But I don't need to know you to take you down!"

**_Elsewhere:_**

A short-haired blonde man dressed completely in black looked through the lens of a scope on his bow at the battle taking place between Casshern and Logan with a calculating gaze before pressing on his right ear and speaking, "Commander Fury, our predictions were correct. The A-Rank threat classified as Casshern has awakened."

_"Shit. That is just what we need."_ The commander of the peacekeeping force known as S.H.I.E.L.D, Nick Fury, swore into the microphone. _"Return to base Agent Barton. We need to go over the attack plan."_

"Our 'attack plan' as I recall was that we sicked Dio on him." Clint Barton muttered as he jumped down from his look-out point onto the forest floor. "What happened to that? I thought it was a pretty good plan. The guy won't shut up on how they have the same powers."

_"Despite Vision's 'assurances', I am not banking the fate of _every_ race on the boastings of an robot who has a grudge against the target."_ Fury told Clint as he ran towards the recall point.

Things were about to change in the world, and only time will tell if it ended with life's continuing existence or destruction.

**Note-**** I did this because I noticed the SEVERE lacking of Casshern Sins crossovers on this site, and the series offers a lot of opportunities for crossovers. Like this one, where Casshern awakened in a different future. And in this case, it was the X-Men Evolution future where man was able to stop the ruin with the remaining technology on the world, but at the sacrifice of almost every robot in existence. As you could see, Dio is still alive and kicking under the codename 'Vision'. If this fic were to continue, you would have bet your ass there would have been a big 'X-Men Vs. Avengers' fight with Casshern and Dio taking a bulk of it. I can only hope this will inspire more Casshern Sins crossovers. **

**Please Review. **


	3. Fate:Zero Shinobi

**I do not own Naruto or Fate/Zero**

As Naruto fell down the huge ravine and the wind blew in his face, he wondered how he got into this situation in the first place. He was just training with the Ero-sennin to prepare for the Chunin Exam's final matches with that bastard Neji as his opponent. And the Ero-sennin decided to teach him how to summon toads… which Naruto admitted he sucked at. He couldn't summon anything above a small, annoying tadpoles and ones that had two or four legs. And to speed up his training and make him summon the boss toad, Ero-sennin took him to the middle of nowhere and pushed him off the edge of the giant, deep ravine so that he can access the Kyuubi's Chakra.

_"D-damn it!"_ Naruto thought as he kept plummeting down while trying to scrounge up as much Chakra as he could. _"I can't die here! I won't die like this! Come on you stupid fox, if you don't give me any Chakra then we _both_ die!"_ Naruto thought in panic before biting his thumb, smearing hand with blood and making the appropriate hand signs before desperately shouting,

"SUMMONING JUTSU!"

**_In A World Between Worlds:_**

In its pocket dimension rested a device. A device which seven Masters, Mages that were specifically chosen by said device, and their seven Servants, legendary heroes reborn and powered by their own legends, fought tooth and nail to win in what could be best described as a war. They killed, blackmailed, and did the cruelest things one can imagine. All for the sake of getting a magical device that could grant one wish, no matter what it is wished the device would grant it.

The device was known simply as the Holy Grail.

It was not _the_ grail from which Jesus Christ drank from, but it was magnificent and powerful enough to be granted that name.

Originally, the grail could grant any wish without cost. However during the third war for the device a Servant, in one final act of defiance, tainted the grail enough to turn it into the _ultimate_ monkey's paw.

_"SUMMONING JUTSU!"_

The corrupted conscience of the grail heard the boy's cry and grinned. The boy belonged to one of the few worlds that could possibly summon _anything_. Originally, it was content in waiting for the next grail war to occur. After all, there would be so many _interesting_ people entering. Especially that Kirei fellow who it had been planning originally to set up the stage for the fifth war. But the grail had gotten bored of waiting. So, it quickly scanned the world for suitable Masters and chose the Servants originally intended for the fourth war for each.

That foolish boy had no idea what he was about to unleash to his world.

**_Back With Naruto:_**

Naruto coughed while smoke came out from the bottom of his hand, much like his other failed summoning's however, this one gave off a red glow. He then felt two arms catch him and blinked in surprise.

The one catching him was a girl. A girl wearing a blue dress and silver armor who carried an presence of nobility with her. Her blonde hair was tied into one bun and some strands framed her perfect face. Her eyes were green and yet cold and professional at the same time.

Naruto could only think one word. _"Pretty…" _

The girl then steered them towards the walls of the ravine before putting her feet on them, making the wall spew out rock and dust. Soon they slowed down while the girl grimaced in some pain before jumping upwards to the next wall. She kept doing this until they reached the top of the ravine, where Ero-sennin gaped at both her and him.

In six other places, events similar to this occurred.

**_In A Secret Location:_**

The man known as Tobi narrowed his one visible eye at the complicated seal array in the middle of Akatsuki's meeting room, which gave off a red glow. It was not any seal he had seen during his long, _long_ career. And he doubted that Namikaze Minato, who was long since dead thankfully, would be able to make heads or tails of it either. As the other, while few, members of Akatsuki began to panic he, Pain, and Konan stayed calm as a being rose from the center of the seal in a shower of gold sparkles. His hair was a golden blonde, his eyes the most pure crimson. Judging from Konan's faint blush, his face was fairly handsome. He wore completely golden armor and earrings. A crimson cape started from his waist and ended at his ankles. And with his crossed arms and piercing gaze, he gave an aura of arrogance.

This, in Tobi's opinion as he eyed the strange crimson seals that looked like a bird with two crescent moons on top of it on his right hand, was an interesting development.

**_Back In Konoha:_**

Kabuto carefully activated his Chakra Scalpels as a being rose from the strange crimson glowing seals in front of him. He had slunk away from the Anbu patrols and was about to give a report to his 'master' Orochimaru when the seals appeared in front of him. Out of the seal came a man who was fairly tall and wore green attire with a few pieces of armor. In both of his hands were two purple bandage-covered lances. His dark hair was lazily slicked back and under his right eye was a small mole. Strange, Kabuto could almost sense a fairly unique Chakra signature emanating from the mole.

_"Well…"_ Kabuto thought to himself as he de-activated the Chakra Scalpels when the man _kneeled_ to him. "_This is different." _Kabuto then felt a burning sensation on his right hand and looked to see a crimson seal of a lance with wings and two flame-like markings on the sides of the tip.

**_Somewhere Else In Konoha:_**

Hyuuga Hinata shrank back in her hospital bed as a figure rose from the seal that appeared on the floor. The man was a giant, easily standing seven feet tall and bulging with muscles. His hair and beard-color was red and he wore strange bronze-colored armor. All across his visible skin were scars from, what Hinata could guess, previous battles. His expression was serious as he eyed her, and the presence he gave off was from someone commander numerous forces and led them into many battles.

_"W-what is happening?"_ Hinata thought as she looked at her right hand, which felt like it was on fire. On it was a crimson seal of a broadsword pointing upwards and two stylized 'wings' on each side.

**_Somewhere In Fire Country:_**

Sasuke's body tensed at the figure in front of him whose presence _reeked_ of shadows, blood, and metal. The figure was shirt-less, dark-skinned, and wore rags for pants. However on said pants was a wicked-looking knife, and his face was hidden by a bone-white skull-shaped mask. Sasuke then looked down on his right hand to see three crimson zig-zag marks that seemed to intersect with each other, yet were separate.

Of all the times Kakashi had to get lost on 'the road of life'…

**_Within Kumogakure:_**

Killer Bee blinked and stopped rhyming as a dangerous-looking black suit of armor rose from the ground. It had spikes on it's shoulder plates, hands, knees, and feet. The joints and openings in the armor seemed to give off a black-purplish smoke that obscured the armor a bit. Its visor gave off a red glow as it stared at him before letting out a bestial roar.

_"I don't know what is up with this thing." _Bee thought while mentally checking out the three crimson-colored jagged markings that were pointing in different directions on his right hand. _"But I can tell explaining this to brother is goin' to be tiring, yeah." _

**_In Suna:_**

Orochimaru smirked as he sat in the Kazekage's office. The man was dead and he had taken his place, with no-one the wiser. Everything was going exactly as planned…

Except for the glowing seal in the middle of the room.

Slowly, a being began to rise from the seal, revealing a fairly pale, hideous, and hunchback man with bug-like eyes that stared in two separate directions. He was wearing a purple and dark-blue robe and in his claw-like hands was a book whose cover looked like it was made of human flesh.

Orochimaru then eyed the sickle-like crimson seal on his right hand and smirked. Now _this_ was _fascinating_!

**_Back To Naruto:_**

The girl gently set Naruto down while he continued to stare at her with awe. He then grimaced as his right hand burned and looked to see a crimson sword-like marking on it. The girl eyed the seal before taking out her sword and aiming it at Naruto. She then asked the question that most of the other beings asked the ones in front of them.

"Upon your summons, I have appeared. I ask of you, are you my Master?"

The seven Servant classes: Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Assassin, Berserker, and Caster have come to the Elemental Nations. And two naïve Konoha Genin will experience true war, terror, and betrayal.

**Note:**** Here you guys go, my pitch for a TRUE Naruto-Fate/Zero Crossover! As you can tell, _all_ of the Servants from Fate/Zero are summoned to the Elemental Nations to fight in the first Holy Grail War there. For those of you who don't know Fate/Zero it goes along the lines of this. The Holy Grail War is a no-holds barred slugfest between seven magicians and the legendary heroes each of them have summoned. Only the winning Master and Servant can get the Holy Grail and make their wish. Each of the servants classes mentioned in the end are chronological to those summoned earlier, beginning with Naruto and Saber to Orochimaru and Caster. However, if someone picks this up they can change the Master-Servant pairing. This begins in Part 1 of Naruto, so Naruto is still the naïve loudmouth 12-year-old bonehead, Hinata is still the overly-shy heiress with confidence problems, and Sasuke is still a dick but not as bad as his Shippuden counterpart and a WHOLE lot more likeable. **


	4. Sins Of Zero

**I Do Not Own Casshern Sins Or Familiar Of Zero**

Louise shielded her eyes as smoke billowed throughout the area, making her fellow classmates/tormentors scream in surprise. The explosion itself was not unexpected, after all it happened with all her spells, but what did make her nervous was that this particular spell was to summon her Familiar. It was her one last chance to prove she was not a 'zero' to her many tormentors in the academy.

_"Please let this work. Of all the spells I have cast, make this one be successful!"_ Louise prayed in her mind before the dust settled. She then lowered her hands and gasped at what she saw. It was a teenager dressed in some strange attire. He was dressed in a completely white one-piece suit from head to toe, a blood red and stylized 'C' on his chest, two gun-like devices on his waist, and most of his head covered in a mask. On the forehead was a golden v-shaped headpiece, but it did nothing to cover up the teenager's handsome face and deep blue eyes. His eyes surprised Louise most of all. They were filled with confusion, sadness, and… acceptance?

"Where am I?" The teenager muttered as he looked around at the students. He then looked straight at Louise for a moment before asking, "A-Are you a robot?"

"Robot?" Louise repeated, letting the strange word roll off her tongue. Just what was this teenager, who was obviously a mentally unhinged commoner, talking about?

"Hah! It's just like you to summon a commoner with no fashion sense Louise!" Her rival, Kirche, laughed out after a moment of silence.

"I-It's just a mistake!" Louise shouted with indignation before looking at her teacher, Professor Colbert, for help. "Let me try it once more!"

"I can't do that Miss Valliere." The man told her with a shake of his head, but his eyes were apologetic. "The ritual is sacred, and if you wish to advance to second year you have to complete the contract. While it is strange to summon a human as a familiar, I cannot bend the rules for you."

"Yeah, so hurry up and do it Zero!" A voice shouted from the crowd of students, making her blush in both anger and embarrassment. She looked back at the teenager, who was apparently supposed to be her _Familiar_, staring off into the sky with a curious expression on his face.

"It's so blue…" He muttered as he looked upwards, not even noticing Louise stomp in front of him.

"Y-you better be grateful commoner!" Louise stuttered out, making him look at her before she raised her wand and chanted out, "Pentragon of the Five Elemental Powers, grant your blessings upon this humble being, and make him my familiar." She then tapped his forehead before she got onto her toes, pursed her lips, and kissed the strangely dressed teenager, making his eyes go wide with shock. When she backed away from the short kiss, she blushed heavily and put her fingers upon her lips. He tasted like… like… freshly plucked strawberries. She then noticed her Familiar putting his own right hand on his lips in wonder, making her become angry inside. Didn't he understand that she had given him her first kiss?

"Grgh!" Her Familiar shouted suddenly, clutching his left hand. Black arcane runes seemed to spread from his forearm to his hand like most Familiar Runes did, however this time something was wrong. The runes were letting off steam, and a metallic smell filled the air. "GAAAAAAHHHH!" Her Familiar shouted in pain as the runes closed up, making Louise's eyes widen in shock.

_"D-Did he reject the contract?"_ Louise thought in horror as her (former?) Familiar began panting while clutching his left arm. Professor Colbert then walked forward before grabbing his left arm and inspecting them. And Louise saw that, in the sunlight, the Runes were still there but now looked like scars on her Familiar's attire.

"These runes are unusual… too unusual…" Colbert muttered to himself before turning to Louise. "Nonetheless, you have successfully summoned your Familiar. Well done."

"T-thank you…" She muttered in gratitude before Professor Colbert turned back to the rest of the class.

"Now then, let us head back!" The professor said before he and the rest of the class _flew_ away, leaving Louise and her Familiar behind.

"What did you…?" Her familiar began to say, only for Louise to huff and turn away.

"That isn't the tone you are supposed to use with your Master, commoner. Now come along, it has been a long day and I wish to rest." Louise then stomped away while her Familiar stood in place.

"What a strange world…" The Familiar muttered to himself before walking with his 'Master' to their destination.

**_Later:_**

The Familiar walked the lonely halls of the Tristan Academy with a pair of panties clutched in his right hand. His 'Master', Louise, had told him to dress her in her 'nightgown' just a few moments ago after ranting how she got him and not a griffon like she wanted. When he told her that he did not know how to properly put on clothes (He knew how they looked and what names went to each individual piece, but otherwise he was clueless) she kicked him out and threw him her used 'panties', instructing him to go and wash them or find a maid to help him out.

Which brought the Familiar to where he was now. He had no idea how he got to this strange land, which Louise informed him was 'Tristain Academy'. One moment he was fighting for his life against numerous robots in a barren wasteland (And winning) and now he was in this place so full of life. The Familiar then looked up to the two heavenly bodies in the night sky before muttering, "There are two moons now…" His pupils then dilated, and a small crater seemed to form under his feet.

_"Who are you? Speak."_

_"I am Casshern. Luna, I will kill you."_

"What was that?" The Familiar asked himself while putting his left hand over his face in confusion. "Is my name… really Casshern?" 'Casshern' then shook his head before his hand grasped the headpiece and pulled it back. _"I can remove it?"_ He thought in wonder as he fully removed the mask, letting it hand limply on the back of his neck. Casshern then noticed brown strands obscure his vision. _"Hair…"_ something in his mind whispered to him as he pulled back his hair, now clearing his vision. He could feel the nighttime wind blow through his hair as he walked forward, looking for a 'maid'.

Casshern then noticed a huge garden, filled with flowers of every color and a humongous tree filled with green leaves in the middle. He slowly got out of the hallway and walked down the path in the garden before stopping at a couple of azure-colored flowers. He kneeled down and touched one with his left hand in wonder. Like the rest of this land, it was so full of life. He then noticed a petal fall down before thinking, _"And yet it is still fragile…" _

"Do you like them?" A voice asked, making Casshern turn to see a young woman with short black hair and light blue eyes wearing a maid's uniform looking straight at him. He noticed her gain a faint blush as she looked at him before stuttering out, "T-the flowers I mean!"

"Yes, I do." He said with a nod before standing up and facing her. Turns out the maid was only a few inches shorter than him. "They are very beautiful."

"I like to care for them at night." The maid told him with a smile. "It helps me clear my head after a long day at work. Speaking of which, are you that human Familiar I have heard so much about? It's been a rumor amongst the servants that one of the students here summoned a strangely dressed commoner."

"I… guess so…" Casshern admitted while looking down. Something in his mind was telling him that he was _not_ human, but it didn't tell him if he was a 'commoner' like Louise kept calling him as. "What's a commoner?" He blurted out, making the maid look at him with curious eyes.

"You don't know? A commoner is one that cannot use magic." She informed him before sighing out, "We serve the nobles who have magic."

"Magic…" He muttered out while he remembered how the other students flew without the need for thrusters.

"My name is Siesta." The maid, Siesta apparently, suddenly said. "What is your name?"

"I'm…" Casshern began, before stopping himself as a memory passed through his mind.

_"Kill Casshern…! Kill Casshern…!" An army of robots in all shapes and sizes shouted as they shambled towards him. "KILL CASSHERN!" _

Casshern grimaced a bit before saying, "I'm… Casshern…"

"Cas-Shern?" Siesta repeated in wonder before shaking her head. "Such a strange name…." She then spotted the pair of panties in his hand before blushing a bit. "W-wha…?"

"Oh…" He muttered before holding them up. "Louise asked me to get these washed. Can you help me?"

"Yes! Yes! J-just put them down before someone sees them!" Siesta shrieked in embarrassment while Casshern held them to his side with a confused expression on his face. She then sighed before grabbing his hand and pulling him, making Casshern follow her. _"He may be strange…"_ Siesta thought with a smile as she led Casshern to the washboards. _"But he means well. And he is very handsome…"_

**_The Next Day (Vestri Court):_**

Louise looked from her spot in front of the crowd of students who had gathered to watch the 'match'. Earlier that day, she had brought her Familiar to the Dining Hall on a whim, only for her Familiar to tell her that he does not eat. Before she could give him what he deserved, he had picked up a vial of perfume that had fallen on the floor and tried to politely give it back to Guiche who had tried to refuse it. Except her Familiar did not seem to get the message, and Guiche was found out by Montmorency and a first year named Katie to be two-timing. After getting justifiably slapped, Guiche challenged her Familiar to a duel before leaving. She told her Familiar to apologize, and he promised to do so since he wanted to not fight _anyone_. It was to be expected, after all he was a commoner and everyone with the exception of the servants were nobles. However since he did not know where Guiche went off to, he decided to call off the fight in the court.

"I do hope your familiar does not get too hurt Louise." Kirche whispered to her with a smirk on her face. "That face is just too handsome to mess up, right Tabitha." She then turned to her friend, Tabitha, who was simply looking at her usual book with a blank expression on her face.

"There won't be a fight Zerbst, you'll see." She replied quickly, confusing Kirche. She looked back to her familiar, who had his mask back on for some reason. She was starting to think he put it on and off at a whim. Louise then spotted a black-haired maid at the very edge of the crowd, looking worriedly at her Familiar. What was she doing here?

The crowd then parted to reveal Guiche, looking as arrogant as ever before he strode forward and said, "I applaud you for not running away in freight Familiar of Zero."

"I don't want to fight you." Casshern told him simply, making the whole crowd gasp and Guiche look at him curiously. "Please, I just wanted to give back what you dropped before, nothing more."

Louise nodded in agreement. Now that her Familiar had called off the fight, Guiche would go away and…

"Do you think my pride or that of those two maidens will be satisfied with that apology, commoner?"

…wait. What?

"He called off the fight Guiche!" Louise yelled while pointing her finger at him. "Your 'duel' can't go on if he drops out!"

"I will leave as soon as he apologizes to Katie and Montmorency!" He replied with a smirk and crossed his arms across his chest while the crowd looked at him disbelievingly. Was he for real?

"You're the one who lied to them. I think they would feel better if you apologized to them instead." Casshern said truthfully to Guiche, who sputtered incoherently while the crowd chuckled. He may not understand what 'two-timing' was, but it had something to do with lying to two women.

"That does it!" Guiche yelled before taking out his rose-like wand and waving it into the air, making it drop three petals onto the ground that soon morphed into feminine-looking armored figures with heavy looking staffs. "My runic name is 'The Bronze', and as such my Valkyries will be your opponents!"

The three Valkyries then shot forward and attempted to skewer Casshern, however in a split-second Casshern jumped upwards, completely passing the three much to the amazement of everyone at the court. Then, with a graceful flip, he landed on the ground in a crouched position before standing upwards.

"I don't want to fight at all, please understand that." He said softly to the shocked Guiche.

_"Beautiful…"_ Louise could not help to think, remembering her Familiar's graceful movement. It was as if he were dancing rather than avoiding a strike…

Suddenly, the ripping of flesh echoed through the court. Everyone gasped as they saw a spear impale through Casshern's midsection, and Casshern himself shouted in pain.

"Hah! That'll teach you to think yourself higher than us nobles!" Guiche boasted, much to everyone's horror.

"By the Holy Brimir Guiche, are you insane!?" Montmorency shrieked out, making Guiche look at her in surprise. "He was trying not to fight with you!"

"Casshern…" Siesta mumbled out, tears coming her eyes as Casshern's body went limp. Louise looked at her Familiar in shock. How could Guiche be so cruel as to kill an unwilling opponent?

Suddenly, Casshern's right hand shot up and grasped the spear protruding him before breaking it. He then spun around and kicked the Valkyrie in half, much to everyone's shock. He then looked at Guiche, and the young noble saw Casshern's eyes shine white.

"W-what was that?" Guiche asked in shock before pointing his rose at Casshern. "Attack!" The two remaining Valkyries then raced at Casshern, who had a white mouthpiece slip over his mouth and nose giving him an ominous appearance. Casshern disappeared from where he originally was and then appeared right in front of one Valkyrie, delivering an axe-kick that crumpled the thing's head like tinfoil. He then jumped from the construct's body and literally _punched_ through the Valkyrie's chest with ease. "S-stay away from me you monster!" Guiche shouted in horror as he summoned seven more Valkyries, each with varying and deadly weapons in hand. Casshern simply looked up and, in an impressive boast of speed, _flew_ past six of them. Shortly after, each exploded into numerous shards of metal. He then kicked the last remaining Valkyrie to the ground before stepping on its chest and gripping its head in his hand. Then, Casshern _ripped_ the thing's head off and threw it to the side.

No one in the crowd dared to speak at the display of beautiful savagery displayed. Was this truly the Familiar of Louise the Zero?

"Be careful Casshern…" Siesta muttered as Casshern looked back at Guiche, who stepped slowly away in freight.

"Familiar…" Louise muttered in amazement, only for it to quickly turn to horror as Casshern slowly lurched forward with each step towards Guiche. His head nodding with no actual control. "No, wait…"

"STOP PLEASE!" Guiche pleaded at the slowly advancing Casshern, his eyes filled with horror at the white-clad Familiar. Casshern then shot forward and kicked Guiche several feet away. "GAH!" Guiche felt several of his ribs turn to powder and coughed out a mouthful of blood.

"CASSHERN! DON'T DO IT!" Seista yelled as she attempted to rush forward. This wasn't the kind yet strange man she met last night! This wasn't him!

Louise wanted to do so as well, but found her feet not moving and they were in fact shaking. Was this fear? True and mortal terror?

Casshern's eyes simply glowed white once more, and he shot forward his right hand, sinking it into Guiche's gut and tearing a good chunk of flesh off. "GAAAAAHHH!" Guiche shouted in pain and horror as Casshern began ripping out both bone and intestines out of him and throwing them onto the ground. Everyone froze even more at this display of sheer _butchery_, and some even wet themselves in freight. Seista stopped in place with her hand covering her mouth, tears now streaming down her face as she looked on. A splash of Guiche's blood landed on Louise's face, making her fall on her butt as the brutal slaughtering continued. As soon as he started it, Casshern ended it by jumping back. Guiche raised a blood-covered arm forward and said, quite pathetically, with his last remaining breath, "I-I don't want to die…" His eyes then rolled to the back of his head and he fell to the floor, dead.

The mouthpiece then slid back and the white glow disappeared from Casshern's eyes, making him widen them with shock before looking down at his blood-soaked hands with growing amounts of horror. "W-what did I just do?" He then looked at Louise, who was attempting to scoot back in fear as he stepped forward. "Louise… I-I didn't mean…"

Kirche and Tabitha then got in front of Louise, their wand and staff raised respectively. However, Kirche's wand and hand shook with freight as she stuttered out, "S-stay back you monster!"

Casshern took a step back in shock before looking down with sorrow as he heard the entire crowd erupt in panic and fear.

_"I know nothing of who or what I really am. And yet, my growing number of enemies call me… Casshern…" _

**_The Infamous Man Presents…_**

**_Sins Of Zero_**

**Note-**** And here you go! My view of how a Casshern Sins/Familiar of Zero fic would go if Casshern became Louise's Familiar! Skipped a couple of parts because it would just re-hash canon, but IF I actually did this fic, it would begin to diverge from canon right after Casshern kills Guiche by unintentionally going into his Berserker mode! If you want to see more of this, review! Tell me how I did and if this idea has any actual merit! **

**Oh, and you can pick up the idea yourself! Think of this as my challenge to you, the readers! How would YOU interpret Casshern's arrival to Tristain as? The beginning of a new age? Or just the beginning of the end? **

**Please Review! **


	5. Shinobi Champloo

**I do not own Samurai Champloo or Naruto. **

"Vagrant Mugen!" A man dressed in formal Samurai robes announced as two other Samurai pushed down the head of a kneeling man with poofy brown hair and mean-looking eyes wearing a red short-sleeved jacket, white shirt, brown shorts, and steel-bottomed Getta sandals. On both his arms and legs were blue ring-like tattoos, signifying that he had served prison time. '"Vagrant and Ronin Jin!" Two other Samurai pushed down a kneeling Samurai with neatly tied-back black hair, white pale skin, and had glasses over his eyes. He wore a traditional Samurai robe as well, however his was colored blue. "Vagrant and Shinobi Uchiha Sasuke!" Another pair of Samurai then pushed down a black-haired boy who had black eyes and was wearing khaki shorts, a blue shirt that had on the back a symbol of a fan, and strange black-colored Sandals that set him apart from everyone currently around him. "And finally, vagrant and half-blood foreigner Uzumaki Naruto!" Another pair of Shinobi then pushed down the head of a struggling blonde-haired boy with whisker-like marks on his cheeks and blue eyes who was wearing an orange-colored jumpsuit and sandals much like the other Shinobi, however his were colored blue. "These four will be executed by decapitation and their heads put on display!" The crowd held back by a gate began to mutter in disapproval towards the Samurai and looked worriedly at the four, who they knew did nothing wrong except for standing up to their selfish and cruel governor.

"Are you ready to apologize?" A portly man wearing robes with a yellow jacket asked the four, who were now forced to look at the ground and the towels for which their heads were supposed to land on. "Are you ready to grovel at my feet and beg for forgiveness?"

"If living means bowing down to you bastards…" Mugen began before lifting his head and grinning at the governor. "Then I'd rather die on my feet with my head held high!" His head was forced back down while the governor's face turned red with rage before they all heard a chuckle escape from Jin's lips.

"Well said." Jin said calmly with closed eyes. "I agree with him."

"Me too. Compared to a little scumbag that I knew once, you are _nothing_." Sasuke informed the governor while glaring at him, turning the portly man into a light shade of purple.

"Heh, you better be careful!" Naruto laughed out, making the governor turn to him. "You're head might just explode if you keep getting angry like this!"

"….very well." The governor muttered as his face color returned too normal. They were going to be dead _very_ soon, so there was no point in getting angry with them. "I'll grant all of your wishes and send you to the afterlife!" He then motioned at the Samurai, who nodded before getting at the four's sides and raised their Katanas. Aiming at their necks before bringing them down and…!

**_One Day Earlier (Don't like the cliffhanger? Too fucking bad! Now shut up and keep reading!):_**

"Why do I have to wear this stupid thing?" Naruto groaned as he fidgeted around with the straw hat on his head. It covered his entire face from view but had little slits in the front, allowing the blonde to see the road in front of him. "It freaking itches like Hell!"

"Well, I don't want to be chased around just because the locals thought you were a foreigner dobe." Sasuke replied calmly with his hands shoved into his pockets. As they walked down the street, people gave the two strange looks for their attire and some muttered 'fucking punks'. "While we outran them easily, it's gotten annoying."

"It's your fault we are here in this crazy place in the first place teme!" Naruto shot back angrily while pointing at his traveling companion. "If you had just came with me back to Konoha instead of fighting you would have been forgiven, Sakura-chan would have been happy, and I probably would be having a bowl of Icharaku Ramen right now!"

"Tch, like I was supposed to know that your Rasengan and my Chidori would have brought us here." Sasuke said with a click of his tongue before bringing his right hand from his pocket and opening it, revealing several small bronze metal coins. "To think that we had to pay that guy extra to keep quiet about repairing our clothes…"

"No way in Hell am I getting rid of my clothes teme!" Naruto shouted while crossing his arms defiantly.

"And because of that, we barely have enough to feed the both of us." Sasuke told Naruto with a scowl as he pocketed the coins again. "Anyway, I heard that there is a pretty cheep dango restaurant nearby and…"

"OH CRAP!" Naruto shouted, confusing Sasuke until he pointed to the sky which had a smoke cloud rising up. "A fire! We gotta go and help them!" Naruto then threw away his straw hat and jumped onto the roof of a house.

"A-A foreigner!" A man shouted while pointing at Naruto. "Is he one of those Americans or a Dutchman?"

"Damn it dobe, wait!" Sasuke shouted as he followed the blonde Genin. In a matter of seconds, they reached the origin of the smoke…

…which also happened to be the cheap dango place that Sasuke heard about.

"There goes our lunch." Sasuke blandly commented before following Naruto inside. He then saw two swordsmen staring at each other intently with looks that said they _really _wanted to kill one-another.

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" Naruto shouted as three Shadow Clones poofed into existence and charged at the surprised duo.

"What the fuck?" The red-clad one shouted in surprise as two of the clones charged at him. He simply went to the ground to avoid their charge and spun his feet around, kicking the two in the sides hard and making them disappear. The blue-clad Samurai simply bisected the third before blocking the Kunai Naruto threw. He glared at them along with the red-clad swordsman, who began to open his mouth before the entire ceiling of the building collapsed.

"CRA-!" Naruto began to shout before a beam hit him in the back of the head, knocking him out.

"DOBE!" Sasuke shouted as he rushed to his companion's aid and lifted the beam before pushing it to the side. He then noticed the two swordsman being knocked out by their own beams before he picked up Naruto and slung him over his shoulder with a grimace. He then raced towards the exit, and when he just got past the burning drapes a blunt object hit him in the back of the head and the world became dark.

**_Hours Later (Too damn boring to write about unconscious people!):_**

Sasuke awoke as cold water splashed onto his face. He blinked as he saw numerous Samurai standing in front of him and attempted to move his arms and legs, only to find them bound. "What…?"

"We were captured." A voice said beside him, making Sasuke look to his left to see the blue-clad samurai from before.

"Hey! Let me go you jerks!" Naruto shouted while trying, and failing, to wriggle himself out of his chains.

"I remember a dream…" A new voice muttered, making Sasuke assume it was the other swordsman. "There was lots of fire in it…"

"That wasn't a dream." The blue Samurai stated before the swordsman chuckled.

"Really? So you _were_ in a bathtub with your dick hanging out while those brats were roasting beef?" The swordsman asked, and Sasuke noticed a tick form on the brow of the blue Samurai.

"…why the Hell would you even dream something like that?" Naruto asked with disgust in his voice.

"Too bad it wasn't a dream." A portly man stated while looking at all of them. Sasuke remembered this man from several posters. He was the governor of the town. "My son burned to death in that fire. And you…" He then turned to Naruto with a sneer on his face. "You have a lot of guts showing your face on our land foreigner."

"I'm no stinking foreigner! I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto shouted in defiance, making the man's sneer grow even more.

_"You're not helping your case dobe…"_ Sasuke thought in exasperation while the governor turned his attention to them as a whole.

"You know, it wasn't long ago that this place was once called a torture department store." He mentioned before a grin formed on his face. "You'll all be _well_ taken care of here until your execution tomorrow."

"Wha…?" Naruto began to ask before being taken by several Samurai and hung upside-down with a bucket of water under him. "The Hell are you temes do-?" The Samurai then dunked Naruto down, making his body thrash and bubbles form on the surface of the water.

"GAH!" Sasuke shouted in pain as a Samurai whipped his still bound body, but not before removing his shirt. He idly noticed Samurai drag their two fellow captives away before grimacing in pain again and hearing Naruto gasp for air before getting dunked again.

**_Hours Later (Let's skip the boring-ass parts!): _**

"You're the lowest of the low…" The blue-clad Samurai muttered to the red swordsman as all four of them laid on the floor of their cell. At least their captors were decent enough to let them wear their clothes again. "Your stance leaves you wide open, and your moves are totally inefficient. All in all, you are a mess."

"Ah fuck you…" The red swordsman muttered as he tried to get up, only to groan as he laid back down. All of them were in so much pain and their bodies so exhausted that they could not use their legs properly.

"And you two…" The Samurai then turned his eyes towards Naruto and Sasuke, who were to his right. "The weapons you use indicate that you are Shinobi, but neither of you know the first thing about stealth."

"Say that again teme…" Naruto growled out, only to lay back down. "Ah, I'll get you later…"

"It was the dobe's fault that you noticed us, not mine." Sasuke informed the Samurai, who just turned his attention back to the ceiling.

"My name is Jin." He informed all three of them.

"Mugen." The red swordsman informed as he too looked at the ceiling.

"…Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke informed them as he looked at the two. Seems like they wanted to exchange names just in case they actually did die tomorrow.

"Uzumaki Naruto, be-!" Sasuke then forced his arm to jab Naruto in the side, making him groan in pain.

"If you say that damn phrase one more time…" Sasuke muttered before stopping as he heard footsteps.

"Wow, looks like they put you guys through the ringer." A voice of a girl commented, and all three rolled around to see a young girl, around fifteen, with brown hair wearing a light-red kimono with flower designs on it.

"Hey, its that chick from before." Mugen commented with actual surprise in his voice.

"What are you doing here?" Jin questioned, before the girl smiled and showed them an iron key.

"I'm willing to free you guys if you promise to do me one small favor." She told the four of them, making Sasuke scowl. Of coarse she wouldn't do it for free…

"You have my word that if you free us, we'll do… whatever it is you want." Naruto responded automatically, making the girl smile with delight while Mugen and Jin glared at him.

"My name is Fuu." She informed them while sticking the key into the lock. "I want you guys to help me find a certain someone." Fuu then fidgeted with the key a bit before continuing. "A Samurai who smells of Sunflowers."

"Sunflowers?" Mugen questioned before they all heard a whistle echo through the air. "Hey, hurry up!"

"I'm trying, but…!" Fuu shouted before a metallic clang was heard. "Um, the key just broke…"

"There she is!" A Samurai shouted before Fuu ran with the guards on her tail.

As they disappeared from view, Mugen asked, "Hey brats, you think you can do your freaky fucking magic from before and get us out of here?"

"Body hurts too much." Naruto groaned, and Sasuke nodded in agreement. Anything they tried to use would just mess up.

"Hm." Jin muttered to himself as he closed his eyes. Might as well get a few good hours of rest now…

**_Back To Where We Left Off (Let's get ready to rumble!):_**

As the swords swung down,, Mugen moved his head out of the way before spinning on it and kicking away the Samurai's sword. Jin the ducked the blade heading for his head and used a fallen sword to cut his bonds. Two Shadow Clones then appeared behind Naruto and Sasuke's would-be executioners and tackled them away. Jin then cut all of their restraints before tossing Mugen a sword and stared down at their opposition.

"Yo, we'll put our fight on hold until we take care of these guys agreed?" Mugen asked Jin, who glanced at him.

"You plan to kill them all don't you? I swear, you really are the lowest of the low…" Jin then glanced at Naruto and Sasuke before asking, "Are you well enough to fight?"

"I'm not Konoha's future Hokage for nothing!" Naruto declared before forming a hand sign and shouting, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Ten clones then appeared in front of him before rushing at several shocked Samurai.

Sasuke ducked the blow from one Samurai before kicking him in the face and taking his sword. He then promptly cut the warrior down before saying, "I'll be fine." He flashed through several hand signs before taking a deep breath and shouting, "Fire Style: Grand Fireball Jutsu!" A huge fireball then erupted from his mouth, barbequing several other Samurai.

"Holy shit that was badass!" Mugen laughed as he cut down Samurai with ease while Jin began advancing towards the fleeing governor.

"These guys are nothing!" Naruto shouted as he kicked a Samurai in the face before using it as a springboard and jumping towards another.

"W-wait!" The governor shouted pitifully with his back against the wall. "I-is it money you're after? Take it! Have as much as you…!"

"May the saints forgive you…" Jin began as he raised his Katana. "For I will not!" He then cut the man in half mercilessly, spraying blood everywhere.

"Hey, isn't that Fuu?" Naruto questioned while pointing towards the roof, making everyone including the Samurai look to see the girl holding two round bombs with the fuses lit before throwing them towards the ground. They then exploded into a flash of multi-colored light, making clay and lit chemicals rain down everywhere and scare Samurai and civilians alike. Not wishing to look a gift horse in the mouth, Naruto, Sasuke, Mugen, and Jin ran out during the chaos.

Several minutes later in an abandoned street, Mugen and Jin were staring each other down with their swords drawn.

"Now, we'll settle this." Mugen declared, and Jin gave a small nod of agreement.

"I can't believe they still want to fight after all this…" Sasuke muttered to himself while face-palming as Naruto chuckled in excitement.

"Now hold on you guys!" Fuu yelled as she stopped right beside Naruto and Sasuke. "What about your promise?"

"This comes first." They both replied at the same time, making Fuu pout in anger.

"Now hold on! A promise is a promise, and if you two end up killing each other I'll only have them to help me out!" Fuu shouted while pointing at Sasuke and Naruto. She then sighed before taking out a small coin. "Look, we'll settle this with a coin toss. If it's heads you can fight each other. But if it comes up tails, you'll forget about the fight and come with me!"

"Gimmie that!" Mugen shouted impatiently while grabbing the coin and slinging it into the air. The five then looked upwards, only to see no sight of the coin.

"What did you do with it? Launch it to the stars?" Naruto asked, making Mugen scowl.

"He doesn't know the meaning of restraint." Jin commented, making the man's scowl deepen.

"The dobe could have done this better than you." Sasuke agreed, only to receive Naruto's glare now.

"You can all kiss my ass." Mugen informed them before the coin finally came into view and landed on Fuu's head. The four closed in to get a better look. It seemed like it landed on…

"THERE THEY ARE!" Several angry voices of Samurai shouted, making the four look up from the coin to see practically an army of them now.

"Shit…" Mugen muttered as he began to flee with Jin, Sasuke, and Naruto following him. Fuu ran as well while lifting the coin from her head and taking a look at what it landed on.

"Hey look guys! I wo-!" She began before tripping, making all four go down with her.

Just what the Hell did they get themselves into?

**_The Infamous Man Presents…_**

**_Shinobi Champloo_**

**Note-**** Here is another idea floating around in my mind since I finished the awesome Anime, Samurai Champloo which is set in a fictional Japan during the Edo period where you will find people tagging, rapping, and even beat-boxing along with playing baseball. This was also inspired by fics where either Naruto or Sasuke were transported to another dimension during their battle in VotE, so I thought 'why not both in the Champlooverse?'. **

**This fic has a LOT of comedy potential, so anyone who wants to pick this little idea up is allowed to do so along with the other ideas in this 'story'. Just PM me first. **

**Also, check out the TVTropes article for my story Fate:Zero Sense. The link is up on my profile.**

**Please Review. **


	6. Just A Dream

**I do not own Cowboy Bebop, Evangelion, or any series/media mentioned here. **

Second Impact.

It was an event no one truly understood, or really wanted to.

However, the event completely changed the world, killing billions, turning the seas blood-red, left a strange red gash across the moon, and making the scattered remains of humanity to pick up the pieces.

Islands around the world completely vanished overnight, and the shores moved even closer into continents due to the rising sea levels. Destroying cities that were unfortunately too close. Japan happened to be one of the worst affected nations thanks to Second Impact.

Children who were born after Second Impact were often considered a blessing now more than ever. Each and every year, the birth rates worldwide declined slowly but surely. If more children weren't born soon, humanity would surely suffer a slow and quiet death.

Shinji Ikari, age eight, just happened to be one of those children.

Shinji happened to have been raised in the rather rural areas with his teacher, a man who his own father had left him with at a rather young age after the death of his mother. While his teacher did care for him in a sense, he was also distant. The two hardly spoke to each other except for his lessons. He was often told never to speak unless spoken to, and to _never_ involve himself in anyone's life unless they wanted him to.

As such, Shinji never had any friends. He never talked to other children, and as such they never talked to him.

It was a lonely life, but it was Shinji's. And he was content with it.

His teacher never really _liked_ technology per-say, often calling it a 'waste of time' unless it happened to play classical music. They owned a TV and DVD player for cosmetic reasons, in case one of his teacher's friends came to visit so that it looks like they are not behind in the times, but that was it. They didn't have cable, and there were no bookstores where Shinji lived so he could not really read anything like children his age should. The only form of reading material he had were simple learning texts that his teacher provided. Thus, manga and anime were forever lost to him. The only real form of entertainment he had was his father's old SDAT player and some tracks of classical music that he would use to shut himself from his worries.

It was a coping mechanism. Not the greatest, but it was one.

He never asked for toys, never wishing to trouble his teacher or asked for his attention. He was much more content to exist in silence as the world… seemed to move on without him doing anything.

But one day, he was much more _bored_ than usual, and unfortunately classical music couldn't kill it this time. Thus, he asked his teacher if he could take a walk. And the man agreed, should he return at a set time.

Unfortunately, Shinji had to head back earlier than that. The droplets of rain began to fall down onto the Earth as Shinji slowly trudged to his 'home'. Shinji kind of liked the rain. It was something that made him like others. After all, the rain never made exceptions towards who it gets wet. It rains on the just and unjust alike…

If this were a normal day in the life of Shinji Ikari, he would have returned home and continue the almost endless and apathetic paradox that was his life for six more years.

However, this was not an ordinary day.

Shinji stopped as he saw a puddle on the side of the road. A rectangular object was in it, the rain splashing onto it as it laid in the puddle. Curiously, Shinji walked to the object and picked it up, observing it.

It was a simple clear case with a black cover. In the middle and the bottom were two lines in red going horizontally. The middle one had Kanji on the top and bottom of a language Shinji did not understand. However, on the top and bottom of the middle red line were four grainy silver and black pictures. The top left picture showed a man in a suit and a weird hairstyle smoking a cigarette while the other picture on the top right showed a woman looking over her shoulder to Shinji. The picture on the bottom left had a bald man with sunglasses, a beard, and a strangely black left arm reclining with both his hands behind his head. The last picture on the bottom right showed a boy with strange hair and a loose shirt wearing some form of goggles leaning down and looking to the side.

Shinji looked back at the strangely grainy Kanji and slowly whispered out,

"_Cowboy… Bebop_?"

xxxXXXXxxx

_Next stop, Tokyo-3… Next stop, Tokyo-3… Please remember to take your luggage with you…_

Shinji blearily opened his eyes as the words reached his ears._ "Man, couldn't it have been five more minutes?"_ Yawning and stretching his legs and feet, Shinji cracked his neck on both sides as he looked out the window, watching the trees disappear and reveal 'civilization'.

_"Train seats suck…"_ Shinji moaned to himself to himself as he grabbed the black leather jacket with folded sleeves that almost reached mid-way to his elbows in the seat to his right and slipped it on over his white shirt. Quietly, he zipped the jacket up to his chest and stopped there. His shirt was also tucked into his jeans, which happened to be a faded dark blue and hid the openings of his dress shoes from view. His shoes were also a dark brown and caved in only slightly mid-way. Making sure that his book bag did not move a bit from his left side, Shinji lazily looked up to the ceiling of the train.

Honestly, he never really wanted to go to Tokyo-3. Hell, he probably never would have set foot in the big city. While his old town was boring, it was still the place where he mostly grew up in. "Guess leaving is always a bit difficult huh?" Shinji asked himself as he watched the station draw closer and closer.

Really, the only reason why Shinji ever even bothered to come was a simple note.

Unconsciously, Shinji slipped his hand into his jacket's pocked and uncrumpled a note that was chock-full of technical fluff Shinji never really bothered to read and a small card held onto it by a paper clip. However, in the blank section of the note was a simple message.

_COME. – Gendo Ikari_

"Just what do you want from me after all this time dad?" Shinji asked quietly as he pocketed the note once more. After receiving that note, he showed it to his teacher who sighed, as if expecting the day to come, before telling Shinji to pack his things and prepare for his trip to Tokyo-3. Now, Shinji had never really gotten along with his teacher per-say. They hardly ever talked and when they did it was either to complain about his fairly _average_ grades, his clothes, and his choice in music. But still, it was definitely something to see the man who raised him for most of his childhood do everything but shove him out the door.

Shove him out of his life…

_"Maybe I should still give the old man a call, tell him I'm here and stuff…"_ Shinji thought to himself as the train suddenly stopped, making Shinji fall to the empty seats to his right with a hard 'thunk'. "Damn it!"

_You have now arrived at Tokyo-3._

"Yeah, yeah." Shinji muttered as he nursed the bruise on his head with his right hand and picked up his bag with the other. Getting onto his feet, Shinji headed for the door leading to the station. "No need to remind me, you stupid hunk of met-"

The moment he stepped outside, Shinji's stomach _lurched_ as did his head. It felt like someone punched him in the stomach and brain at the same time! Miraculously, Shinji did not throw up (Thank God) and Shinji clutched his head in pain. "The hell is going on!?" Shinji shouted as the pain in his head grew worse and _worse_ by the second…!

…only for it to disappear as quickly as it came.

Slowly, Shinji took his hand off his head, blinking in confusion as the pain stopped. "What was that about?" Shinji asked himself as he began to walk the strangely empty station.

For some reason, Shinji felt like he had been here before…

xxXXXxx

"Damn… I'm running late…" Misato Katsuragi muttered to herself as she sped her car down the roads, not caring to stop for any signs.

Not that any cop was around to complain about that little detail. Or anybody but her to be specific.

Misato was a very peculiar individual. She was a colonel in the highly secretive agency known as Nerv. Thus, she knew why the citizens of the city were hidden in shelters rather than on the streets and continuing with their lives.

The Fourth Angel, one of the ultimate enemies of humanity, had finally awakened and was on its way to Tokyo-3.

Not that she had any faith that the JSSDF could stop the monster. That responsibility lied in Nerv, who contained the only weapons that could fight them.

The synthetic humanoid Evangelion.

The giant creature that humanity has spent decades and numerous funds to create in order to battle this threat.

And if her assumptions were correct, she was about to pick up one of the pilots.

Sneaking a glance to her left, she looked at the stack of files and the picture attached to the top one, showing a brown-haired boy with messy hair and a _bored_ expression on his face wearing a wrinkled black school uniform. Under the picture written in both English and Japanese was the name Shinji Ikari. _"Heh, looks like a little slacker."_ Misato thought amusedly to herself as she continued to speed down the roads. Back in her college days, she had classmates that looked like Shinji. Often not really caring whether they passed or failed and instead breezed through life.

As if the future held no true meaning for them…

_"Well, I guess I'll have to see what he's like when I pick him up."_ Misato thought to herself with a small grin. _"Hope he liked the picture I sent him…"_

xxxXXxxx

_We're sorry, due to the state of emergency that has been declared, all lines are currently out of service. _

"Damn it!" Shinji shouted as he slammed the phone down into its holder, his eye twitching as he did so. "First my cell doesn't work, and now the damn pay phone! What the hell!?"

Normally, Shinji wouldn't loose his cool like this. But the sort of headache and stomachache from before put him in a fairly foul mood. And when he saw that there was no one to pick him up, he tried calling the number he was provided by his cellphone. However, he did not get any signal from the area. So (Despite how out-of-date the practice was) he managed to scrounge up some loose change to use the payphone that was nearby.

"Now, where is everybody?" Shinji muttered to himself as he looked to his sides. The stores that should be bustling with customers were closed, and there wasn't a single person in sight. Hell, he couldn't hear any cars at all. "Anybody here!? Hello!" Shinji shouted at the top of his lungs, hearing the echo go down the streets but heard no response. Sighing, Shinji reached into his right pocket and fished out a photo of a raven-haired woman (Who's hair almost passed for purple.) Wearing a loose yellow shirt and tight jean short-shorts. She was leaning down and giving the 'peace' sign as her shirt showed much of her _very _impressive cleavage…

Hell, there was a message and an arrow _telling_ him to look at it!

Shinji whistled and gave a grin as he continued to observe the photo. It was definitely nice eye-candy… He then shook his head and glared at the photo, trying (And kind of failing) to ignore the lipstick and her breasts as he growled out, "Your twenty-minutes late…" _"Or maybe she's where everyone else is?"_ Shinji's eyes narrowed at that thought. _"Did I not get the memo or something?"_

Sighing, Shinji pocketed the photo once more and sat at the edge of the sidewalk. "Guess I just have to wait here…" In an almost fluid motion, Shinji reached into his backpack and took out his SDAT player and plugged the headphones into his ears. "Who knows? Maybe she'll be here in a bit…" He then played the first track of his personal mix, _Bebop _by Dizzy Gillespie.

It was funny, Shinji had to admit. He still used the SDAT player his father left him despite not really liking the man. And even though his music choice changed, he still kept the thing around rather than getting something like a CD player. Shinji's eyes began to droop as he allowed the sax and drums begin to fill his mind. Not even registering the pale-skinned and blue-haired school gir-

"Wait, what!?" Shinji shouted as he pulled out his headphones and got onto his feet, He squinted his eyes and saw that, yes, there was indeed a girl around his age wearing a blue and white school uniform. She was staring at him with ruby red eyes, staring into his very soul, and Shinji could almost feel a hint of _sadness_ from her.

_"What the hell is that about?"_ "Excuse me!" Shinji shouted as he waved to the girl. "Hey! You know where everyone i-."

Suddenly, the girl blinked, and Shinji heard numerous birds take flight. Shinji took a quick look and saw that it was simply some pigeons before looking back at the girl, only to find her gone. "The hell? She was just…" _"Am I seeing things now?" _

*BOOM*

An explosion rocked Shinji's eardrums, making him cover them to prevent any permanent damage to his hearing. Wind hit against his body, whipping his hair and clothes while Shinji covered his eyes with his right arm. His eyes then widened as he saw a combat helicopter come into his vision and fired its missiles at _something_. _"What's the freaking JSSDF doing here!?" _Shinji asked himself before a beam of pink energy stabbed through the helicopter. The helicopter came crashing down, and Shinji's eyes widened in horror as it was heading _to him_! "SHIT!" Shinji quickly ran away from where the helicopter was heading, only for the thing to crash into the ground and explode. The hot wind knocked Shinji off his feet, and it was only through swift reflexes that Shinji landed on his butt. As the boy winced in pain, he looked up…

…and saw a _monster_.

It was a giant, vaguely shaped like a man, with slick black skin like that of sea mammals and for some strange reason; its rib bones seemed to be on the outside. Curving wedges of bone jutted out of its shoulders like pauldrons. Most distinctive about it, other than its maddening size, was the bone mask on its neckless head. The mask looked faintly bird-like, and behind the eyeholes there was nothing but untold darkness.

Shinji's body shook with fear as the giant stomped its foot down on the wreckage of the helicopter, miraculously snapping Shinji out of his panic. _"I have to get away! RIGHT FREAKING NOW!" _ Shinji thought to himself as he turned his body and began to run. His legs and arms moved in near blurs and Shinji zoomed past the block and onto the next one. He didn't know why he was scared of the thing (Other than it being a giant freaking monster.), but something in his mind literally _screamed_ for him to run. To run as far away as he could from the thing. Why…?

"Ah screw the questions!" Shinji shouted at himself as the ground shook once more. "I just want to get the hell out of here!"

As if God Himself were listening, the sound of a horn reached his ears despite all the explosions.

Shinji looked to his side to see a blue car speeding at his pace before the window pulled down, revealing the same woman from the picture wearing dark sunglasses. "Hey! Hop in!"

Shinji wouldn't argue with the suggestion.

Shinji quickly moved himself to the backseat door of the car and opened it. Wind resistance then kicked in, making it difficult to open the door while he was in motion. Grimacing, Shinji flung the door open before jumping in, slamming into the seat and bouncing roughly against the leather. Greedily, Shinji took in gulps of air and felt his heart hammer into his chest.

What? Running happened to be very hard, especially in a stressful situation like the one he was in.

"Hey, you okay back there?" The woman called back as she made the car drive even _faster_ and make sharp turns at street corners.

Shinji only had one thing to say.

"Y-your (gasp) l-late!"

The woman, despite the situation, seemed to laugh nervously as she said, "Yeah, I was kinda held up at work so…"

Misato glanced back as she watched Shinji attempt to calm himself. Really, she had never seen a kid move as fast as Shinji did unless they were in track. Yet Shinji's file said that he never joined any clubs or seemed interested in them. _"Still, kid knows how to dress nice."_ Really, a kid like Shinji wearing something like a leather jacket? Those things went out of style several years ago, yet Shinji was wearing one with rolled up sleeves. _"Guess all kids these days think that all pre-Impact stuff is cool…"_

"The hell was that thing?" Shinji asked as he looked out the back window back to where they originally were. _"That thing… what was it?"_

"We call it an Angel Shinji." Misato responded automatically. "It's what your father helps to fight."

"An Angel? You mean like those things from the Bible?" Shinji asked while giving Misato a wry grin, meanwhile his mind was racing. His dad… helped to _fight_ those things? _"Just what have you been doing, dad?"_

"Unfortunately, no. Honestly, I'd take a guy with wings and a flaming sword any day of the week. But that's just what we call them." Misato replied back, looking back at Shinji with a small smile of her own forming. The kid seemed to be fairly easy-going and seemed to be cracking jokes in order to take his mind off the situation. "By the way, you're Ikari Shinji-kun right?" That was a fairly useless question since she recognized him from his photo, but still a necessary one for manners sake.

"That's right. And you're Katsuragi." Shinji stated, slipping his until-then forgotten music player and headphones into his left pocket. "Nice to meet you, and thanks for saving my ass."

"It's what I do Shinji-kun." Misato replied, looking out the window and noticing all the helicopters suddenly backing off. _"That's weird. Aren't they going to keep hitting the Angel with…"_ "CRAP! They're going to use an N2 mine!" Her head the swerved back at Shinji, panic clearly shown on her face. "GET DOWN!"

"Huh?"

Shinji felt the car swerve before the light of the sun hit his eyes.

xxxXXxxx

Misato jumped from her seat onto the confused boy as the force of the blast hit the car. She held him close as the car flew from off the asphalt and tumbled to the side of the highway. Sparks flew as the metal scratched against the ground before, after a few agonizing seconds, it stopped spinning and laid on the ground upside down.

Misato coughed in pain as broken glass left several scratches on her arms and legs. But luckily, from what she can tell, nothing was broken. If anything, she only got the scratches and a few bruises. _"Lucky… SO freaking lucky…" _ Slowly, she loosened her grip on the young boy still held to her chest…

…only to see his eyes closed.

"Shinji?" Misato lightly questioned before lightly slapping the boy across the cheek, only to get no response. _"Oh crap!" _"Shinji, hold on! I'm getting us out of here!" Misato yelled before reaching her arm over to the door lever and opening it. Lightly pulling Shinji out, Misato edged out of the car and onto the now ashen ground. She then quickly put her hand on Shinji's throat. _"Still has a pulse. Good sign so far." _Misato then spotted the rise and fall of his chest, and noticed that Shinji didn't seem to be struggling at all. _"Breathing's also normal, so he's alive. Thank God…"_ Breathing a sigh of relief, Misato looked back at her car and groaned. "I still had two years worth of payments on this thing…"

The car being what it was, she wasn't going anywhere for a while. The thing looked like it would fall apart if it moved again, and she was pretty sure that the main engine was also totaled. But Misato was a practical woman: She knew how to get a car as wrecked as hers working again.

"Well…" Misato muttered as she looked back at the city. "…At least we didn't go too far." She looked back at Shinji and frowned. It wouldn't be responsible for her to just leave the unconscious boy where he was, but she had no real choice. She couldn't just carry him the entire way, plus she still needed her hands to carry the stuff she needed. "I'll be back soon Shinji-kun!" Misato yelled before running off.

She didn't have the time to fool around.

xxxXXxxx

_He was… all alone._

_No one understood him, and he couldn't really understand others._

_Nobody could feel what he felt._

_That is, until he watched the show._

_Shinji watched as a group of misfits (And one dog) went on adventures together: making bonds and feeling heartbreak. In the span of twenty-six episodes, Shinji felt more excitement than he had ever had in his entire life._

_He enjoyed Jet, the role model of the entire ship of misfits._

_He was awed at Fay, the beautiful woman who was almost as fragile as everyone else deep down._

_He laughed at Edward's wackiness, and also envied her free-spiritedness. _

_He also wanted a dog like Ein, one that was smart and would stay by his side no matter what._

_But most of all, he admired Spike._

_Spike, a fictional character, understood him the most._

_That life was not kind to everyone. It was a cruel thing, and that bad things even happened to good people. _

_So perhaps… maybe… just maybe… he should…_

_Yes, that's right…_

_He should see…_

xxxXXxxx

Misato groaned as she carried the basket full of duct tape and batteries to her still upturned car. It had not been difficult to break into the hardware store (Which had miraculously survived the blast.). Getting back however was starting to become difficult. "Why do batteries need to be so heavy?" Misato moaned as the still-laying body of Shinji came into view. "Thank God, he hasn't moved…" Setting the basket down besides Shinji, Misato sighed as she scratched her head. "Now how am I supposed to turn this thing back ri-"

*Snore*

Misato's head snapped to Shinji, blinking before shaking her head. "No way, he can't be just…"

*SNORE*

Misato then kneeled beside Shinji and tapped his head. Shinji's eyes fluttered open…

…Only to meet an angry Misato.

"You were sleeping this entire time!?" Misato yelled in anger as Shinji's eyes snapped open. She couldn't believe it! While she was scrounging up materials so that they could get to safety, Shinji was taking a nap! _"That little punk! To think that I was worried about him!"_

"Hey, hey. Calm down." Shinji groaned as he twisted his pinkie into his right ear. "I was actually unconscious earlier. Woke up and couldn't see you, so I just waited here. Looks like I was right, huh?"

Misato raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing him, before huffing out, "Fine, but you owe me you know! Help me turn this thing back upright."

Shrugging, Shinji got onto his feet with a hop and placed his hands on the roof of the car. Doing the same, Misato ordered, "Okay, one… two…" With two grunts, the car tipped over and landed on its wheels.

It took several minutes, but they were able to make the car drivable. The car, once new-looking, now looked like a patchwork of duct tape holding the entire thing together. Soon afterwards, they were on the road again, but now it was in silence. Misato still hadn't forgiven Shinji for his little nap, and Shinji just looked out the window.

Whether she liked him or not was up to her. It wasn't his place to tell others how to feel.

But still, the silence was too damn disturbing. And he needed some questions answered, such as… "Hey, where are you taking me?"

"To where your dad works Shinji-kun." Misato replied briskly before handing Shinji a packet that read 'NERV: For Your Eyes Only." Among other things explaining how top-secret it was.

Shinji threw the thing to the backseat of the car. Wasn't like he was going to read the whole thing when he got there. Maybe later when all the craziness that happened today was over. "You still mad?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Misato asked, her eyes still focused on the road. "You took a nap while I was finding out tools for survival!"

"Didn't know survival relied on duct tape and batteries." Shinji replied wryly while reclining his seat back. "Plus, I _was_ unconscious at first."

"Even if you were unconscious…" _"Which I know you weren't."_ "…you still thought it was alright to go back to sleep just because I wasn't there?"

"Yeah, kinda." Shinji replied with a shrug, making Misato's cheeks redden. The kid was really starting to remind her of someone she really would prefer to forget. "You _were_ gone."

"…Well, you did help me get this thing up and running again. So thank you for doing that at least." Misato said truthfully as they neared the tunnel. "But listen, we should be arriving soon. I ordered an express lift to save for some time."

"That's… good?" Shinji asked in an unsure tone, making Misato blink.

"Not looking forward to seeing your father?" Misato asked before she suddenly turned right to a giant metal door that had half a red leaf and a strange spiral on the bottom of the name 'NERV'. To the bottom left of the name was the small motto 'God's in his heaven, all is right in the world.'

"Maybe? I don't know…" Shinji sighed out as the giant door slowly began to open as they approached. "Haven't seen dad in years. Didn't even know what he did for a living. The old man just told me that it was important for 'our future' or something like that."

He never really bothered his teacher with questions like that. He only asked once out of curiosity, and had been content with that answer… until recently. Misato mentioned that his dad helped to fight against those 'Angel' things.

Just what had his dad been doing all this time?

"Really…" Misato muttered in curiosity as she looked at Shinji in a new light. Was his attitude just ruthless rebellion coupled with frustration towards his father? Misato never had what could be considered a 'normal childhood', but she supposed that she could understand Shinji's behavior if that was the reason. "Say, did your father send you an ID card?"

"Think so, yeah." Shinji responded as he reached into his pocket and took out the piece of paper. Plucking the card from its clip, Shinji handed it to Misato, who inspected it as they drove into a smaller door that lead to a car-sized platform. _"Guess these are one of those 'lift' things." _"Say, do you know why he called me here?"

"…" Misato stayed silent at that question, unsure if she was really the right person to answer that. _"So, he hasn't even been informed of his status…"_

"…Figures." Shinji muttered bitterly as he felt the platform move. "The first time I see him in years, and dad just wants something from me."

"Sounds like you don't really get along with your father." Misato spoke whimsically as she put her hands behind her head. "Seems like we have that in common."

"Have that in common?" Shinji whispered to himself as he stared at Misato in wonder. _"Heh, she doesn't even know the half of it…"_ Shinji thought to himself before relaxing his body and closing his eyes.

It was probably going to take a while to reach wherever they needed to be…

xxxXXxxx

"…And that should take us to… Route Eight." Misato muttered to herself as both she and Shinji stood on the moving platform as it headed from one part of the tunnel to the next. In her hand was a clenched map to the complex, which was almost written in Russian to Misato, considering how they _still_ hadn't reached the Evangelion decks yet. "I swear, it's like they set this place up to be confusing on purpose."

"Pretty sure we passed that door three times now." Shinji mentioned as he took his right hand out of his pants pocket and pointed it to the side.

Misato glared at him and muttered, "I'm new here, okay?"

"Maybe I should take a look at those…" Shinji muttered, only for Misato to shake her head.

"Nope! I'm the only one who can hold this Shinji-kun!" Misato declared before flashing Shinji a grin. "Besides, I'm not the one who slept through a bird's eye view of the Geo-Front!"

Shinji blushed a little at the teasing and scratched the back of his head. "I was tired, okay?"

"Just as long as we're on the same page." Misato said whimsically before the platform stopped in front of an elevator door. "Okay, we are supposed to go here…" Shinji followed Misato to the elevator, which was painted a greenish-blue inside, before she pressed one of the buttons. "…And then we go down to here!" The doors closed, and Shinji felt them slowly descend as a small wheel indicated what floors they were missing.

"…Still think I should get a look at that…" Shinji mentioned as he slowly reached over to the map, only for Misato to move it away from his hand.

"Not today. This time I'm sure!" Misato shouted confidently, only for Shinji to sigh and put his hands back into his pocket.

_"Said that the last time…"_

Suddenly, the doors then opened to reveal a blonde woman in a purple dress with a white labcoat over it looked at Minato with an expression that just radiated _annoyance._

"Uh… H-hi Ritsuko…" Misato muttered nervously as the woman stepped into the elevator.

"Your late Colonel Katsuragi." 'Ritsuko' intoned seriously. "Another couple of minutes…" Her face then shifted to a much softer one as she joked out, "…and we would have had to send a search party."

"Heh, sorry…" Misato replied back while Shinji observed the exchange. Were they friends or something?

Ritsuko turned to Shinji and said, "So this is the boy?"

"Yup!" Misato confirmed with a smile as Ritsuko's earlier smile turned into a thin line.

"Akagi Ritsuko, head of Project-E Technology Division Section One." Ritsuko greeted as she observed Shinji. "It's a pleasure."

Shinji flashed her a smile and offered a simple, "I'm Shinji, nice to meet you too." Shinji then blinked before asking, "Hey, that blonde hair natural?"

Misato tried hard not to laugh at the question that made her friend sputter.

She failed.

xxxXXxxx

The rest of the way to wherever they wanted to take him was pretty long and boring once Ritsuko and Misato got into their own conversation. He mostly tuned them out since it wasn't really any of his business, but he heard things like 'Third Child', 'Marduk Report', and 'Unit-01' since there wasn't much else that he could do.

Really, he only used his SDAT player once he was either alone or just wanted to take a nap.

_"Hope it wasn't crushed or something while I was running…"_ Shinji moaned mentally as he got into the small boat inside the room that looked like a giant pool of seawater, a long purple object with green and orange highlights attached to the wall opposite from where they were. He left the bag there when he ran away from the 'Angel', so it would be a miracle if the thing didn't get vaporized or crushed. But then again, the bag only contained a spare change of clothes. The rest of his stuff was being shipped over. His mind then wandered back to the phrases that he heard earlier as the boat began to glide across the crimson water. _"Just what were those about? They made them sound important…"_

The boat then decided to stop before he could finish that thought, making Shinji blink as Misato tapped his shoulder.

"Just follow us Shinji." Misato ordered in a much more somber tone than usual, making Shinji blink before complying. They climbed up a flight of stairs before reaching a door that slid open, revealing a blackened room.

"Shouldn't we turn on the lights first?" Shinji asked, only for Ritsuko and Misato to walk ahead of him.

"They'll turn on automatically." Ritsuko answered, making Shinji shrug before following them. As soon as he entered, the door slid shut. "Ikari Shinji, there's something I would like to show you." The lights then snapped on, revealing a giant purple face.

"T-the hell?" Shinji muttered as his eyes widened in shock. "A giant robot?"

"Your looking at the most advanced weapon system ever developed by man." Ritsuko declared as all three of them stared at the thing. The Synthetic Humanoid Evangelion. This, is Unit-01. Humanity's last hope for survival…"

"Last hope for survival?" Shinji repeated before looking at Ritsuko. "What does that mean?"

"Exactly what she said." A cold voice spoke over the loudspeakers, making Shinji look up…

…and see the cold, hard gaze of his father behind orange-tinted glasses within the passageway above the Evangelion.

"It has been a while." Gendo continued while Shinji stared at him with shock.

"Dad…" Shinji muttered before his gaze hardened and his fists clenched. "Just what the hell is this about? What do you want from me?"

"You will soon find out." Gendo replied in the same even tone as before. "Prep Unit-01, we are moving out."

"You can't be serious Commander Ikari!" Misato shouted, making Shinji blink. "You can't really be serious about…!"

"Do you know of a better option?" Ritsuko asked, breaking Misato's tirade.

"Okay seriously, what's going on?" Shinji asked as he turned to the two women, only for Misato to look away and Ritsuko to sigh.

"Ikari Shinji, you will be Unit-01's pilot." Ritsuko spoke, looking Shinji directly into the eyes.

"…What?" Shinji asked before he slowly turned his head back to Gendo. "…Is this really what you brought me here for?"

"That is correct." Gendo answered with a neutral expression on his face as Shinji's hands clenched even harder.

"You can't…" Shinji muttered as his fingers began to crack. "That's fucking insane! How can I go out there and fight in this thing? I never seen it before in my life!"

"You will receive instructions on how to operate it." Gendo replied, apparently unmoved by Shinji's hesitance.

Shinji paused a second at his father's coldness. He always remembered his father as the man who left him at his teacher's house and never looked back. They didn't even see each other again after three years ago, not even during the anniversary of mom's funeral. But for him to up and tell him to go and fight that… _thing_ in a giant robot…! "You're out of your mind!" Shinji pointed at the Evangelion as he continued. "This isn't some stupid anime dad! I can't just go into that thing and defeat a giant freaking monster!"

"You will have to, because there is no one else who can." Gendo spoke, making Shinji pause in shock once more. He looked to Misato for help, only for her to give him a cold stare.

"Get in Shinji." Misato spoke, dropping the suffix for the first time since they met.

"Y-you guys can't really…" Shinji sputtered out, before a cold voice delivered its ultimatum.

"If you're going to do it, do it now. If not, **leave**."

_"So that's it, huh dad?"_ Shinji thought to himself with clenched teeth.

Suddenly, the base shook, and tiny pieces of cement and plaster began falling from the roof. Gendo muttered, "Damn, it knows our location…"

Misato placed her right hand on Shinji's shoulder and said through clenched teeth, "Shinji, get in the Eva! This is too important for you to get hard-assed over! Humanity _needs_ you to do this!"

"There's another pilot, isn't there?" Shinji asked, swatting Misato's grip on him with his right arm without much effort (Shocking the colonel) and began jabbing at Gendo. "There has to be someone else that can pilot this thing! There is no way in hell you built this just for me! So bring the other one out!"

"…Very well." Gendo replied before looking to the side. "Fuyutski, begin prepping Rei."

_"But can we use her?"_ An older voice asked, making Shinji blink. What did he mean by…?"

"She's not dead yet." Came Gendo's reply.

_"Not dead yet?"_ Shinji asked himself as the crew began to spring to life automatically, switching everything related to Unit-01 to the girl named 'Rei'. "What the hell do you mean by 'not dead yet'!?" Shinji shouted at Gendo, only for the man to completely ignore him. He looked at Misato and slowly asked, "What did he mean?"

"Ayanami Rei is currently the only other pilot available." Ritsuko replied before she began to walk away, as did Misato while shouting orders. "But you no longer need to concern yourself with that."

"You're not answering my question!" Shinji shouted before the doors to his left slammed opened, and a medical cart pushed by two doctors entered. They passed by him, and he saw what they were pushing:

A girl.

The beautiful girl, around his age no less, was hooked up to an IV and had pale skin and pale blue hair cut short. She was covered in bandages, and wore a white skin-tight suit that covered her entire body. In the center right below her bust was a crimson stone that almost looked like liquid. _"Wait, she's the girl from before…"_

She tried to get up, only to gasp out in pain at the effort. Shinji turned back to Gendo and shouted, "She's the only other pilot? You can't be serious!"

"You refused to do so. I have no other options." Gendo replied, making Shinji look back at Rei. "If you have no other business here, then leave. This is no place for civilians."

A massive explosion was then heard, and the entire base rocked. The red liquid splashed against the walkway, and Shinji stumbled but did not loose balance. The cart however did, and Rei was knocked to the ground and laid there while gasping. "Hey! Hold on!" Shinji shouted as he ran to the fallen girl. "L-look, just hang on okay?" Slowly and gently, Shinji slid his arms under her and began to pick her up.

"Grk… GAH!" The girl gasped in pain even more, making Shinji's eyes widen. She was hurt that severely? Then how could she pilot?

_"She can't." _A voice answered in his head.

He couldn't let her fight. Not in this condition. Despite how fucked up the situation was, he could not let this girl fight. Even without her injuries, it looked like she could snap like a twig. He felt something wet form on his arms, and so shited his left arm only slightly to get a look.

It was blood.

She was _bleeding_ on him.

There was no way in hell he was letting her get in that thing.

He might die…

_Whatever happens, happens._

"Yeah, I guess so…" Shinji sighed out before muttering to the girl. "Don't worry, you don't have to hurt yourself anymore." He turned to his father, and unknown to him the man smirked slightly as he spoke the next sentence.

"FINE DAMN IT! I'LL BE YOUR PILOT!"

_**Stay Strong, Cowboy...**_

* * *

**Note- Damn it, I really cannot control my muse. **

**I'm not going to lie, but this little tidbit was inspired by the story_ Shinji and the Warhammer 40K_ by Charles Bhepin. its an epic story about how one easily influenced young Shinji gets his hands on a series from pre-Impact, and how much it screws with both the Scenario and the world itself. This story would go under a similar vein, but with Shinji emulating a certain Space Cowboy. Shinji may be a badass in his own lazy and slightly introverted way, but don't expect him to be a Gary Stu. This is EVANGELION for crying out loud. And not just regular Evangelion, but the Rebuild-verse. How much has Shinji's life changed just because he picked up this certain series? You'll just have to wait and see.**

**I'll be working on the next chap of Stay Away soon, so please be patient. Same goes for JaUT after the next chap of Stay Away is done. And who knows? I might dust off a certain fic from the rack if I have the time. Unfortunately, a big factor in my schedule is my new requirment for graduating: Serve a 40 hour internship. **

**Yeah, it really sucks.**

**So anyway...**

**_Would you kindly _tell me what you think?  
**


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